Christmas has come and gone and everyone is talking about going away. So when did you last have a holiday? Or do you feel like I did that I couldn’t have one.  I couldn’t have one because the person I loved was in a place where they were not allowed to take a holiday to some exotic island.  How could I go and do something that was enjoyable when they are suffering?

It might also mean that I miss out on visiting that person. I mean, in their limited world, I had to make sure I was there to visit right?  It wouldn’t be fair otherwise right?

I had the opportunity to have a holiday at one time.  With all those thoughts above going through my head, I felt guilty the whole time.  I didn’t enjoy it one bit.

It took something I read to challenge me about what I was choosing to put myself through.  I hadn’t thought I was choosing.  I was the one landed in this place by the other person and their behaviour that put them in prison.  That was no choice!

And no, it wasn’t a choice you or I had.  What I didn’t take on board  through all this was that although I didn’t have a choice in living with someone in prison, I actually did have a choice in how I wanted to continue to live.

I could actually choose what I did and did not do each day.  I could choose to deny myself pleasures because of guilt.  Or I could reframe it and understand that I needed to especially need to treat myself due to all the additional stress I was under to stay well.   I could stay at home and not take a holiday, or I could say, you know.. here is an opportunity to renew my own energy and strength so I can be more present for the person inside.

So, I challenge you.. when is your next holiday.  It could be just staying with friends or family  for a night to get away from it all, or an overseas trip.

Take a break!  You deserve it!

 

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