It took a while before I thought I could say ‘hello world!’ For a long time now I have cocooned myself. Trying to find a safe place to just be. I look back and see how I truly was in a robotic state, no matter how hard I tried to continue to be a mother and a partner, a worker and a friend. Very few asked what was happening to me. Maybe I told myself I was successful in hiding what was going on. But the sleepless nights, the tears that never seemed to stop; the thoughts that continually went through my head told the truth. I was present in a physical sense and did what was necessary, but I felt I was dying inside. It felt like I too was locked up. Would this feeling ever end?
My person is still inside. But I am now beginning to allow myself to be free. This blogging is part of my journey. It is my little way of trying to provide support and information that I felt I didn’t have. If others had experiences of this system, nobody talked about it. I didn’t know where to turn to for help..or who to ask for a start. I did try to contact a couple of organisations, but without knowing the questions I was really struggling with, I was unable to get the help I needed.
When I started to be able to think again, I came across some great information and resources online. It is hoped this might be a little oasis to find out the answers to what you are needing, or at least knowing the questions to even start.
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