Living with Shame

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Photo by Andras Vas on Unsplash

I imagine you too have sat there…. you are in a public place and the other people in the room have no idea of the shame you feel with having someone inside.  You are polite and listen while beside you they talk about ‘naughty boys’ etc.  You know they don’t know what’s going on, and so you try to hold it together and get past the build up of emotions.  And sometimes the other part of you that just wants to cry out for them to stop threatens to take over.

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‘Nobody cares about inmates!’

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I listened politely as the middle-aged lawyer told me about the type of legal work they do. I knew the process he was talking about only too well. He didn’t know I knew or he might not have made the throw away comment  ‘Nobody cares about inmates’.

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The first visit

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I still remember the day so clearly.  It was a mission to even make it to this day.

I arrived at the Correction facility with what I thought was plenty of time – just as the information that was sent to us said.  It wasn’t!  I really had no concept that I would need to queue up  to present my documentation and ID.  I learned the hard way that I couldn’t bring in things for my person at a visit at this correction facility (and later that other facilities have different rules around what can and cannot be brought into the facility at visits).  I felt stupid taking a bag of things back to the car.  I obviously stood out as being a ‘first time visitor’.

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