R U OK?
I saw yellow and black posters on the wall. R U OK? September 10 is the national R U Ok day in Australia. A day to ask others who may be struggling R U Ok? I know how critical it is that we make sure each other are OK but right now, I don’t know anyone that is OK.
With COVID-19, the consequences of bushfires and drought, remembrance of Christchurch shootings. We are all to some degree or another not OK and that is OK!
When you have someone inside, its also normal to be not OK. Just like if you have received a diagnosis of cancer and don’t know if the treatment will work or not, or you have lost your job and there doesn’t seem to be any new jobs that fit your skills advertised. You don’t need to pretend you are travelling along fine when you are not.
Because you shed many tears wondering how on earth having someone inside could happen to you doesn’t mean you have something wrong with you. It means you are a normal human being who is trying the best they can to deal with an abnormal situation where you have very little control. It’s not ok!
You may have already gone through a lot of emotional or physical abuse prior to the person going inside. That’s not ok! The bills might be piling up and you don’t know how you are going to pay the next one because there is not the other person who was there previously to bring in the money. It’s not ok. You may have just got off the phone hearing and been told about some of the harsh things that can happen inside and you feel so helpless. It’s not ok!
A reader shared this week that they knew they were not ok and reached out to an organisation just cause they needed someone to talk to that might help make sense of the chaos (see our list of organisations in your area). They received a phone call from a person who had gone through the experience of someone inside. It was someone that knew what they were going through. Someone that helped make some sense.
The reader said they don’t know where they would be if it wasnt for that phone call. They said just talking to someone who knew what it felt like to have someone inside made such a difference. Someone who told them it’s ok to be not ok. Someone that didn’t however leave them in that space but gave them hope.
This week, take some time to be kind to yourself. Let yourself sit with that hot drink a little longer, breathe a deep breath. And if someone asks you R U OK? feel their care and share your pain a little more… cause one day you will be more ok than you are today. You will get through this!
If you are feeling its all a bit overwhelming (which is normal too when you have a person inside) and don’t have someone to talk to, call LIFELINE: Australia 131114 or text 0477 13 11 14 or New Zealand Call 0800 LIFELINE (0800 543 354) or text HELP (4357) for free.
Where you see others who might be struggling, don’t forget to ask if they are ok, listen to them, encourage them to take action and don’t forget to check in with them too.
